Pina Coladas Killed My Father, So No, I Don’t Like Them, and Now the Night Is Ruined — Thanks

A protest poem against Rupert Holmes

Todd Snider calls out songwriter-artist Rupert Holmes for the narrator’s false confidence and bad pick-up lines in his 1979 No. 1 hit, “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).” (Photo courtesy of Infinity Records)

By Todd Snider

there is a rupert holmes song
in which the narrator 
asks the lady of his potential desire
if she likes making love at midnight
off the dunes of the cape.